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Life can be unpredictable. There I was, living in my dream
home, surrounded by a lovely group of friends, with
a thriving business. First, of course, the economy
changed and business took a serious dip. I was, by
necessity, cutting back on expenses and adjusting.
In my wildest dreams, I couldn't have predicted what
was coming next.
I suppose, as I consider it now, there were signs. For example,
I used to have a visceral sense of belonging
whenever I saw the skyline of downtown Sacramento.
That stopped about four years back. I remember
thinking that I could move now but I didn't want to
move away from my son nor did I know where I wanted
to go.
Fast forward to June of this year. My colleague and friend was
in town to teach. I was tired but feeling fine. That
began to change around bedtime on Saturday night. I
went to bed thinking that I'd feel fine when I woke
up but felt worse and worse as the hours passed.
Even though I was having trouble breathing I didn't
want to wake up my friend to ask for help. Until I
had the thought that she'd be more upset if I were
dead in the morning.
Before the paramedics arrived, I stopped breathing. It was just
too hard. I remember taking one last breath and then
heading toward a light, thinking, "I'm dying, I'm
dying." However, there was a blue circle partially
blocking the light. I was annoyed for a second that
I didn't have a beautiful, bright light waiting for
me. Then the blue circle pulsed me back and my
thoughts shifted to, "I'm living, I'm living."
Next, I heard my friend say, "Katherine, open your eyes,
breathe!" Well, it was more of a command. I took a
breath. As I did, I realized that the crisis had
passed.
Now, some of you are wondering what medical condition caused
this. Me, too. Apparently, nothing life threatening.
Although I have slowed down and I need to find a
local doctor and pursue this further..
I absolutely believe that the Universe gives us signs when it's
time to make a change.
It starts with a whisper...
when I broke my right wrist last June, my daughter suggested
that I move closer to family. I gave it serious
consideration but didn't really want to start all
over...
...followed by the cosmic two by four.
I not only listened, I took action. I didn't want to find out
what would happen if I ignored the two by four.
This experience has taught me that there is only one thing that
is important in life. I knew it intellectually but
now I understand it deep in my heart.
All that matters is love. And now I live close to some of my
loved ones. I love spending time with family again.
I am re-engaged and excited about life again. Let the adventure
begin. |
